When it comes to social settings, most men struggle with the question of “What Is the Best Way to Fit In?”
And what most men decide on is a strategy of learning how to be just like everyone else; learning how to adjust your image, so that you constantly fit society’s image of normal and average.
Now while this way of thinking is not necessary wrong, it is definitely flawed when it comes to attracting women.
Let me explain…
- The very fact that you are trying to ‘fit in’ is what makes this way of thinking flawed.
- Before you commit yourself to being one of the crowd maybe you should wear the pros and cons of “fitting in”:
- Is there a personal benefit to being part of a crowd and essentially disappearing in the crowd?
- Is losing your individuality and identity worth the social image of the group?
- Is there a benefit for substituting your critical thinking ability for a flock-like/sheep-like mentality?
Now while these may seem like odd questions to have to ask yourself, the truth of the matter is that unless you:
a) Plan on taking up a leadership position in the crowd, or
b) You serve to gain a higher level of social status by your association with the crowd,
then you as a man, have no business being part of the crowd.
Do not forget that it is no secret that a sense of individuality and independence is attractive to women. A sense of wanting her but not needing her is a very powerful dynamic that women love.
Also you should note that leaders and essentially men who are naturally good with women have never been middle of the pack men.
They are and have always been individuals, unique from the rest.
Therefore the trick here is learning how to break free of the old saying that“Everyone is Unique like Everyone Else”.
Learn to be “Unique like No One Else”.
So the question that you need to be focusing on is:
“What Is the Best Way to Attract Positive Attention From Women?”
Once you realize and focus on the fact that your goal is to attract the right kind of attention from women, then you’ll begin to understand why you need to stand out from the crowd.
Men naturally good with women have, for a very long time, realized that fitting into a crowd doesn’t help attract women. So the simple truth to remember is that alpha males are individuals and because of that they stand out and attract attention from the fairer sex.
No one is saying that you have to make a spectacle of yourself just to get attention from women. If you do so, you will appear desperate for attention or maybe even like the crowd clown; both images that you must avoid like a plague.
So all being different means is that you are daring enough to:
- Be confident enough to be refreshingly charming and funny
- Think for yourself and not just accept group decisions
- Stand for and live by a certain unwavering set of morals
- Define your self-worth by who you are and not by what social group you hang out with
“Why do most men choose the ‘fit in the crowd & be a nice guy’ strategy to attracting women?”
Simply because most men lack self confidence and also have an irrational fear of rejection. The result is that most men will seek the security in numbers that the group/crowd setting provides.
Here is some truth about rejection:
Even if you have all the confidence in the world and your game is perfect, not every woman is going to like you. Trust me I know;-)
Heck, it could simply be because your likes and interests, morals and personal beliefs differed greatly from hers.
And yes, it could be that you actually did mess up but it could just as likely be that she was Pre-PMSing, PMSing, or even post-PMSing and you therefore had a snowball chance in hell of saying the right thing to her.
So the point is, the sooner you learn to overcome the irrational fear of rejection and finally gain the confidence to stand as an individual, the better off you will be.
After all the quickest way to gain the self confidence to be unique is through experience.
Now if you are ready to learn more on what it takes to be the right kind of funny to women and how to create attraction with women then learn from the master himself, David D.